March 28, 2017

[This post was written on January 7, 2017] 

It’s funny. I consider myself to be a fairly observant person, I like to be constantly aware of my surroundings and I find myself people watching quite frequently. I observe almost everything about different people and try and decipher what the little things could mean. 

As a photographer I look at people’s faces quite often, as someone’s face shape and general expression does say a lot about them as a person. I especially find that when I’m with new people I notice little things about them that most people wouldn’t normally notice. During my time in New Zealand I became quite aware of how observant I was. Spending time with new people and being with a family other than my own I’ve had different opportunities to observe and look at an entire family and not only how they interact as siblings but also with their parents. I don’t know what it is but I find it so interesting to look at people and just figure things out about them. It can be a stranger or someone I know incredibly well, whether it’s just looking at their features and deciding what animal it reminds me of, or even the way they speak which my mum thinks is a wasted gift (she always wanted me to be a speech pathologist, shame I suck at science mum). For example, my friend G enjoys a lot of things that I know a lot of people would find no interest in, such as studying the animations shorts at the beginning of disney films and whilst she does know a lot of people who are interested in that, for me it’s something that’s uniquely her. Even today we were wandering around Dunedin, NZ and we went into the New Zealand store to look at plushies and general tourist crap. G was looking for a plushie of a Kakapo which is an endangered species of flightless parrot native to New Zealand. However in the shop they only had puppets which she wasn’t particular interested in, only after we commented on it a couple of times she mentioned that the eyes were incredibly well done and honestly I can not name any other person that I know who would’ve noticed the eyes on a plush toy. 

The more I think about it, the things I observe about other people I never notice about myself. For example as I am literally drafting this post in my pages document I realised that my favourite number is also the font size that I set every document as, it’s twelve in case you were wondering (you probably weren’t). As well as certain little things that I have noticed along this trip I have definitely become more comfortable and expressing my ideas and thoughts on things more and more which have been constantly welcomed. I have been made aware how observant I am as a person and how hyperaware I am of my surroundings, the people I’m with and what is going on with various people around me. For some reason it had never occurred to me how observant I am was any different to other people’s levels of observance but even the tiniest things that I notice with only half brain power, people have been incredibly shocked about. Again this sort of leads to some sort of post about self realisation and self discovery etc. etc. but these thoughts are still important to me and it is the reason I write this series in particular. Besides those 3am posts when I have no hope at sleeping I find writing to be freeing. It acts as an extension of who I am. 

Even as I write this post right now I’m thinking about how different people associate different things. Like even today for example when we were exiting the ship in the dock at Port Chalmers there was an excessive lumber supply and as we continued journeyed on our shuttle bus from Port Chalmers to Dunedin we saw more lumber and G said “well you can see what this town’s main export is.” And the more I think about this the more I wonder, because that thought did not enter my head once. I had no thinking whatsoever about what the town’s export was or why they would have so much wood. Like after I had acknowledged it, I had already moved on. 

After my hyperaware self became hyperaware of my hyperawareness (mind-warp, I know) I began to think and even overthink (which is another one of my exceptional habits) my observation skills, not in a bad way but in a way where I didn’t realise it was so odd that I noticed so many different things about people. G seems to think it’s one of my “special talents,” but since becoming aware of this, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to use this “talent”. To some extent I do believe most things can be taught but there are definitely some individual skills or “natural talent” that no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to be able to fully master. Like, as much as it broke my 13 year old selves heart, I’m never going to be an artist, I’m the shittest painter ever and I really can’t draw. Even ideas about photography, where I loved the idea of capturing a moment. I never knew that other people weren’t like that. Sometimes I forget how individual and unique people are, and how easy it is to forget that, especially when you’re constantly around the same people. You begin to forget the things that once stood out so firmly in your brain. 

I really do admire people who have the ability to be 100% honest at all times. I am not one of those people. I read each situation and make sure it’s appropriate to say what I was thinking, if not I keep it to myself. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people, and as I conclude this post I’ve decided I’m going to make more of a conscious effort to say what I’m thinking, because especially from recent experience people are interested in the things I have to say. 

No matter what you think, say or do you are so uniquely you. You can wear the same outfit and cut your hair the same as every other 16 year old girl, but as you get older and get more life experience you truly begin to understand when someone tells you that we’re all different for a reason. 

Honestly, can you imagine how boring life would be if we were really all the same. 

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[Image: Shot by me.]

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  1. I really enjoy people watching, beautiful photo

    1. It's so weirdly fascinating, like why am I so obsessed with observing people???? And thank you! I shot it in Akaroa in New Zealand <3

      Lauren x

  2. Such a beautiful photo! xx


    1. Ah thanks babe! You're a doll x
      Ps. your feed is alllways so beautiful!

      Lauren x

  3. Just discovered your blog and I love it!!!


    1. Thank you so much! Means the absolute world <3 x