April 18, 2015

"One thing that you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside." - John Lennon 

Today was not the best of days so far. It started off pretty good, and didn't end that badly, but somewhere in the middle it all went a little bit wrong. Sometimes one thing happens, and you think you're over it. Then another thing happens, and you think you're over it. Then a third thing happens, and whilst you're still trying to cope with this one, a little something called snowballing happens. 

All these bad things have gathered into one giant snowball, and when you thought you did the right thing by putting them behind you, you really just turned your back on a moving object that is slowly coming towards you. And the worst part is, you didn't even notice how big the snowball was until you were crushed under it,  a wet, soppy mess. 

In today's culture you're allowed to be a mess and you're allowed to take as long as you need to deal with whatever you're dealing with, almost to the extent where it's glamorised to be a mess. Being a mess is not okay. Being a mess sucks. It's not nice to feel like the whole world has turned against you when really it's only a couple of minor problems that just suddenly turned into one massive snowball. 

Now there's two sides to every story. Everyone feels certain emotions at some point in time, and that's okay because we're human. You're allowed to have your moment where you collapse onto your bed and let the tears flow, but the real way to deal with your emotions is to have your moment. Let your pillow soak up all your problems. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, go wash your face and finally move on. 

The snowball days aren't fun. No one likes the idea of all their emotions creeping up on them to the extent that it makes them feel sick, but it sometimes just happens and the most important thing is that you have to do what makes you happy. I know this is one of the most overused phrases ever but in the end it's just you against the world. There's no one to hold your hand when you're sad or buy you chocolates, it's just you. And if you're not happy doing what you're doing, screw what everyone else thinks you HAVE to think of yourself, because you're the one whose there at the start of the day and at the end of the day. 

When you think about recovering from a snowball day, you think off the people that pull you up. The people that hand you a towel and a tissue. More times than not, these are you friends. Now when you think about your friends you're begin to picture a few faces in your head. There are the people who you are simply friends with because you have been friends with them for so long that it's hard not to be friends with them. There's the friends that support you in everything you do, the friends that tell you you're amazing and how proud they are of you. The friends that tell you that you can take on the world and that you deserve the absolute best. There is also the friends that put you second, they suck every living drop out of you till you cannot give anymore and leave. They leave you a hollow shell. A hollow shell, with a snowball approaching and not even a scarf to protect you. Some friends do this unintentionally, unintentionally realising they're hurting you, unintentionally realising that they're pushing you away. One of the hardest things in this world is trying to realise who your true friends are, and to tell you the truth, I don't know. I don't know how to tell who your true friends are, but I guess we just have to sit and hope that the friends that we've surrounded ourself with are true. 

There are good days, there are bad days and there are snowball days. In the end it's you against the world. So if I have any advice, coming from someone whose recently faced a snowball day, it's put on a coat. For now it's a little bit chilly, but I can see the sun coming out from behind the clouds. 



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