Everyone's Growing Up.

September 23, 2014



"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that."
Matched - Ally Condie

When I look back on the past year, it's scary to think how much happened. How much we survived. How much a person can grow in one year, both emotionally and physically. During our final assembly as year twelves we had a PowerPoint presentation where we reenacted photos from our past and it's really weird to think that I've seen a whole bunch of girls grow up. 
We've been together through thick and thin and we aren't the girls in in the original photos, and I don't mean because braces have been removed and fringes have grown out. I mean that we have grown emotionally and that we have matured into young women. Yes, I know it's been said a million times but we really have grown from girls to women and no matter how many times I'm told it never seems to set in. 

I don't know about everyone else but I cannot stop thinking about how much we've grown up, and you know I'm really sorry for the nostalgic nature of my posts lately but I have had so many questions floating around my head all week, and it really hit me when on Sunday when I realised that Saturday night was my last High School Party. 

As I don't drink I do a lot of thinking at parties, which is a weird thought, but it's true. While your friend mumbles incoherently next to you, you begin to question your own decisions and question if you made the right choice. At this particular party someone said to me that it's rare you find people our age who don't drink, this thus added to the million other thoughts that were pouring through my head that night. Is it that weird that people don't drink? Is drinking all it's cracked up to be? Why do people drink? 

So whilst pondering the very nature of the teenage experience I began to think that most of the people at this party, I had known since I was eleven years old. Six years of my life has led up to this moment. The moment where I'm sitting by the fire, chiming in and out of conversation and watching the girls who I've known for a decent amount of my life party and have fun. 

You know, I really do love parties where you forget about everything for the night, but after that particular party all I could think of is how times have changed. Half the people here will go to university next year or shoot off and travel the globe. Someone might become famous, someone might save the world and hopefully, we'll all live our dreams. I know it's cliche but how cool would it be if everyone got to live their dreams and do what they always wanted to do. 

It's scary to think how different your life could be if your parents had another dream that they weren't able to fulfil. Is even scarier to think that one stage our parents were this age, they were looking around at parties and thinking how much their friends have grown up. 

This year a lot of things have happened in regard to friendships, both new and old. If any of my friends are reading this I just want you to know that I am so incredibly proud of how much you've grown over the past six years. Especially this year, I have noticed more and more ways that the people around me have changed and the wonderful things that they have done. 
At the start of this year one of my friends who I have only ever heard sing in the shower (long story) sung in front of the whole entire school. She sung with the voice of an angel and I could not be prouder of her courage, grace and beauty. She is so very talented and I cannot believe that one of my friends had such a beautiful voice inside of her. When she stepped out on that stage we joined hands and held our breath, overwhelmed with a feeling of pride (and shock), knowing that the person singing up there was our friend. The girl who I did debating with in year seven and the girl who I know I can rely on for anything. To be real with you, I would honestly kill for an EP or an album with her name on the front, but hey, watch this space because I will be promoting the hell out of her and her music, because I know that big things are going to come her way. 

On our graduation day whilst I waited for my name to be called I could hear the names of the girls I have known for six years and the wonderful things that they have achieved and though some may have been sitting in the audience, jealous of what others have done, I was more in awe. I was in awe over the fact that a lot of these people have had terrible things happen to them, and if they could graduate high school, through everything that has happened to them then I think that I'll be just fine.

To anyone who has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about in this post, I'm sorry for wasting your time but I cannot stop thinking about the overwhelming sense of pride that I feel for my friends and the things they have achieved. 

To my friends I just want you to know how unbelievably and indescribably proud I am of you, sorry I keep saying it, but I can't stop. You've all grown so much into the beautiful people who I've come to know and love. Every single one of you has matured and you inspire me everyday to be better than I am and work harder than what I do. 

To my fellow year twelves, who I may not know as well as my close friends, I just want to congratulate you as well on everything that we have achieved this year, not only as individuals but as a grade. 
Congratulations class of 2014 we did it. 

♡♡♡

September 22, 2014



Flawless.

September 22, 2014



"I like flaws, I think they make things interesting."
The Truth About Forever - Sarah Dessen

Everyone in this world has flaws, the flaws that are seen by others or the flaws that are seen by ourselves. We often look at people and pick out their flaws, the same thing we do ourselves when we stand in the mirror. This needs to be longer, that needs to be thinner. There is always something that we are picking at. 

Whilst there is somewhat nothing wrong with picking out these flaws, in a modern society it's almost impossible to not. It's when you start sharing your opinions on people's flaws is when it becomes wrong. 

There is an old saying that countless mothers have told to countless children over countless years; "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". No matter how juvenile this idea may seem it is very true and very applicable in today's society.

There is absolutely no need, ever, to point out someone's flaws. Take a moment to think how you would feel if someone took your deepest insecurity and wrote about it an a nasty comment on something that you had posted online. How would you feel if you knew that people were whispering behind your back about your deepest insecurities. How would you feel if someone came straight up to your face and told you straight out that they thought that something was wrong with you because there was something different about you.

Take a moment to think about how you would feel if someone did any of these things to you, it's not a nice feeling is it? 

Someone once told me that if you can pick out someone's flaws you can use them to protect yourself, whilst at the time of this conversation I thought hey this a great idea, I'll never be picked on again. Now I think about it, sure that person was right, it can be used as a way of protection it can also be used as a way to control someone, and that's never a good thing. 

When I think about this exact conversation, and the fact that we disused certain girls flaws and how we could use them against them disgusts me. What was my younger self thinking. Just because a few people had said a few mean things, I, and anyone in this society for that matter should not have the opinion that in order to make ourselves feel better we have to point out other peoples flaws and insecurities, for a lack of a better phrase, putting them down. 

Granted this conversation was a few years ago, but I worry if girls actually out this theory into practice. I look back on my past self, ashamed that I had this conversation, but I can look back with pride knowing that even though I still today see the flaws in people, I have and never will tell the person that I can see these flaws or that people are acknowledging their existence. We have no right as students, colleagues or friends have no right to say to someone 'hey you have a flaw.' 

I worry greatly for society if there are girls on busses right now having the same conversation I had, and I worry even more over the fact that some girls, can choose to take a different path from myself and use this stupid and cruel theory to protect themselves or to make themselves feel better. 

Picking out someone's flaws is never okay. Using someone's flaws to make them feel bad about themselves is never okay. Allowing someone to make insecure because of your flaws is never okay. 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Every person should think about this when someone makes a cruel comment, when someone says something mean and when someone points out your flaws you have to remember this beautiful saying.
You must remember it, even if you have to stick it on your mirror or repeat it to yourself before you walk out the door every day. 

You are beautiful and you cannot let anyone tell you otherwise.
Wear you flaws with pride because without them, you wouldn't be you.

♡♡♡

1000 Views.

September 21, 2014


"Don't aim for success if you want it: just do what you love and believe in, and it will come in naturally." - David Frost

Today, the little blog I write about everything and nothing hit 1000 views. To some I know this doesn't seem like a huge amount, but to me, this is incredible.

I have tried and failed many times to keep a hand-written journal or diary, but over the past week, I am beginning to see this blog more and more like a diary, except one that I publish, one that the entire world can read if they so choose. It sort of motivates me in some ways to write more. The tiny bit of hope in me, that someone out there enjoys what I write, and right now that's enough for me.

When I think about it, it's an odd feeling that people who I have never met know that my name is Lauren. People who I have never met know that I'm a teenager and people who I have never met know that I am scared shitless for the future. I know it may seem weird or unconventional to some that I'm allowing you to read and know such deep and intimate things about me, like my personal thoughts but you know, everyone has a voice, so why shouldn't I share mine. 

I know the coming weeks will be hard, with final exams approaching faster then ever, but I am determined to write here, every day. Even if it's only a small post on my phone, I will do my best to share what's happening in my life with you and most importantly to keep writing. It's kind of lame, but I do really enjoy writing these stupid reflective thoughts were I just let my mind flow. Which, fun fact is known as stream of consciousness writing.

So, to anyone who has ever journeyed to my little corner of the internet, I thank you. It's not much, but I can offer you my thanks. 

♡♡♡


People Always Leave.

September 21, 2014


"Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone." 
One Tree Hill - Peyton Sawyer

One of the most relatable, strongest and admirable characters I have ever come across is One Tree Hill's Peyton Sawyer, played by Hilarie Burton. Until I started watching this show, I had never found someone who I had been through so much and who was so incredibly strong, even though Peyton leaves the show I will always remember her strength, loyalty and overall ability to overcome anything that was thrown at her.

The picture above is one of the artworks that Peyton did, she uses her artwork to express herself and this one depicts one of her mottos; "people always leave" and for me, this is one of the reasons why Peyton is so relatable, because when I take time to reflect on my life, it is true, people always leave. This motto is one of the reasons why Peyton is so strong, she thought that because so many people had left that she had only herself to rely on and this strength is something that I really admire, it reminds me of my own strength. It reminds me of everything that I have gone through in my life and the fact that I have always come out on top.

When discussing this idea with my friend Nicole she said "people don't actually leave Peyton, they just leave. You can't control people, sometimes they just leave and it has nothing to do with you". Even though this is very true, there is always that little voice inside your head that tells you "it was you, you drove them away" and no matter what you do, sometimes the little voice is louder than the one telling you that it was a long time ago and that things have changed since then, even if that voice is screaming at the top of its lungs.

Some days are darker than others, and on those dark days you have to remember the special things that made a good day good. The moments when someone greets you unexpectedly at a party, or when you receive a lot of compliments about a new hairstyle. There is always something good to find in each day and you have to find something that inspires you.

Another character once said that "every dancer knows that being technically perfect isn't enough. We need to know we we dance. For me it's to be connected. I'm inspired by my friends." Even though I'm not a dancer this quote really hits hard to home because the people around me really do inspire me, in every aspect of my life and I am so thankful that I have these people around me who haven't left. The people like Brooke, Haley, Nathan and Lucas who didn't leave.

Sure sometimes people leave, but you know, sometimes they stay.

♡♡♡

image.