September 22, 2014

"I like flaws, I think they make things interesting."
The Truth About Forever - Sarah Dessen

Everyone in this world has flaws, the flaws that are seen by others or the flaws that are seen by ourselves. We often look at people and pick out their flaws, the same thing we do ourselves when we stand in the mirror. This needs to be longer, that needs to be thinner. There is always something that we are picking at. 

Whilst there is somewhat nothing wrong with picking out these flaws, in a modern society it's almost impossible to not. It's when you start sharing your opinions on people's flaws is when it becomes wrong. 

There is an old saying that countless mothers have told to countless children over countless years; "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". No matter how juvenile this idea may seem it is very true and very applicable in today's society.

There is absolutely no need, ever, to point out someone's flaws. Take a moment to think how you would feel if someone took your deepest insecurity and wrote about it an a nasty comment on something that you had posted online. How would you feel if you knew that people were whispering behind your back about your deepest insecurities. How would you feel if someone came straight up to your face and told you straight out that they thought that something was wrong with you because there was something different about you.

Take a moment to think about how you would feel if someone did any of these things to you, it's not a nice feeling is it? 

Someone once told me that if you can pick out someone's flaws you can use them to protect yourself, whilst at the time of this conversation I thought hey this a great idea, I'll never be picked on again. Now I think about it, sure that person was right, it can be used as a way of protection it can also be used as a way to control someone, and that's never a good thing. 

When I think about this exact conversation, and the fact that we disused certain girls flaws and how we could use them against them disgusts me. What was my younger self thinking. Just because a few people had said a few mean things, I, and anyone in this society for that matter should not have the opinion that in order to make ourselves feel better we have to point out other peoples flaws and insecurities, for a lack of a better phrase, putting them down. 

Granted this conversation was a few years ago, but I worry if girls actually out this theory into practice. I look back on my past self, ashamed that I had this conversation, but I can look back with pride knowing that even though I still today see the flaws in people, I have and never will tell the person that I can see these flaws or that people are acknowledging their existence. We have no right as students, colleagues or friends have no right to say to someone 'hey you have a flaw.' 

I worry greatly for society if there are girls on busses right now having the same conversation I had, and I worry even more over the fact that some girls, can choose to take a different path from myself and use this stupid and cruel theory to protect themselves or to make themselves feel better. 

Picking out someone's flaws is never okay. Using someone's flaws to make them feel bad about themselves is never okay. Allowing someone to make insecure because of your flaws is never okay. 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Every person should think about this when someone makes a cruel comment, when someone says something mean and when someone points out your flaws you have to remember this beautiful saying.
You must remember it, even if you have to stick it on your mirror or repeat it to yourself before you walk out the door every day. 

You are beautiful and you cannot let anyone tell you otherwise.
Wear you flaws with pride because without them, you wouldn't be you.


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