On the Outside Looking In.

September 26, 2014

"You will never understand someone's struggle of standing on the outside looking in." - Unknown

Today, I was outside with my dog and I heard our neighbor's dog whining behind me. Sometimes I feel really bad, because I take every opportunity I can to play with my dog. If she can manage it, she's always with me. She sleeps on the end of my bed and on the floor next to me whilst I study, but this post is really inspired by the other dog more than my own. You can see her little black face peering through the face and sometimes I wonder, if in her little doggy brain she is jealous. These are just from my own personal observations but her owners play with her as much as we play with my dog. Granted everyone gets busy and works from time to time, but I do feel bad. This is where this idea comes from, the idea of being like that little black dog, watching from behind the fence, or behind the glass and feeling like you don't belong. 

I guess everyone gets this feeling from time to time and I think it's quite similar to that feeling you get when you're sitting with a group of people and you know that no one would notice whether you were there or not. No one would notice if you sunk into the ground, because in your head, you think that no one notices you're even sitting there right now.  It's as though there's a piece of glass and no matter how hard you push against it, you can't get through. It doesn't matter if you kick or throw rocks at it, the people on the other side are oblivious to you trying to break down the wall, trying to get in.

If you're still struggling to understand what I'm describing, try imagining yourself as Peter Pan, watching the girl you love, Wendy, live happily with your family. You're sitting near the window looking in. You know you have a connection with her but deep down you know that no matter how hard both by parties try, you'll never quite fit right. You're the rectangle peg that will just not go in the circle hole, no matter how hard you push.

When I think about it, this idea is displayed in most children's movies but when you take away the glamour that Disney often gives the feeling of isolation and you take a minute to put yourself in their shoes, I find it quite a confronting and awful feeling. Sadly, I am no stranger to this feeling, and don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends who include me in everything they do but sometimes you just stop, and stare. You stare at your friends or even strangers laughing and you begin to wonder, why aren't I laughing, how come I'm not included in this conversation.

The absolute best thing about being on the outside is when someone reaches their hand out and draws you in. They reach through that dreaded glass and suddenly it all dissolves and you're there and you're included and you're no longer standing on the outside looking in.


Ps. THIS is the song that's now stuck in your head.


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