The Mirror Image.

October 21, 2014

"Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker and what he thinks into it." - Ernest Holmes

So yesterday when I was getting my formal dress tailored (the short life) I had to stare in the mirror for quite a long time and I sort of started to get really mad at myself because here I was in a beautiful dress that I really love and I could not stop myself from picking out my flaws.

The two things I am most self conscious about are my smile and my skin. As I suffered severely from eczema when I was a child my skin still has some what seem like odd tan lines and I am often prone to dry or very red skin. As my dress can be work strapless or with thin sort of bra-like straps, is how you would describe, it a lot of my upper chest and collar-bone area is on display which means the fact that my skin is not all the same colour is quite visibly on display. 

As I stared in the mirror I was really happy with the bottom half of the dress. It fits really nice and I can breathe, which is always a bonus, but the more I stared at the top half the more anxious and critical I got. I just began to pick myself to pieces examining each individual part of my upper body and picking what was wrong. I couldn't stop myself from saying, "that rash left a mark" and "we'll have to get rid of that redness." 

Finally the seamstress asked me to turn around, so my back was facing the mirror, my first thought was okay now I can stop picking myself to pieces, but after a while I became bored, and I wanted to pick myself to pieces again. I'm usually very pro body pride and embracing who you are, but today I just could not stop picking at the flaws like my skin and overall top half of my body. 

My skin and rashes are not my fault I can't control it, so why am I making myself feel worse about it? 
My somewhat broad and rounded shoulders are both genetic and due to my gymnastics days, I can't control or change it, so why am I making myself feel worse about it? 
My spots and the overall physical appearance of my face is not my fault, I wash and cleanse my face and try to drink lots of water, I can't control or change it, so why am I making myself feel worse about it? 

As I write this post I know I'm being silly, I know I can't help my flaws but I feel as though my mind has been programmed to be constantly picking at myself and no matter how much image booster motivation I look at I still feel self conscious and I still feel as if I have an obligation to criticize myself. 

Why do I feel like this? Why am I constantly never happy when looking in the mirror? Why has society programmed us to never be happy with our appearances and it's just not fair. I need to try, I need to try harder to accept and love myself but it's so hard when you look in the mirror and you are never happy with what you see. 

I know I sometimes struggle with accepting myself but I think the most important thing is that even though we sometimes cannot see our own beauty, we can see the beauty in others. Both in their personalities and their physical appearance. I have a friend and she is one of the most beautiful and sweetest girls I have ever met and she honestly compliments people so much. She inspires me to compliment people more because if someone says something that boosts your ego it can change your whole day and if we as individuals have the ability to do this then what is standing in our paths? 

We have the ability to change a person's day. To make their week and yet sometimes we choose to stay silent, we choose to keep our voices hidden. Don't stay silent, there is enough sadness and despair in this world without adding to the fact that there is some little girl staring in the mirror right now, and she's not happy with herself because society has made her feel ugly. Remind yourself, remind your friends and remind your family that we are not ugly, society is. 

[also listen to THIS song by Ed Sheeran because it makes you feel 1000x better about yourself]


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